Dating Tips – What to Say

The first date with your match will either set the tone for future dates or bring this one to screeching halt! First dates always cause some anxiety and nervousness, but don’t forget your match is feeling exactly the same way but is probably doing a better job than you at hiding the discomfort. What you say on your first date will play and re-play, in your date’s mind, even hours after the date is finished. This is why you need to be careful of what you say and how you say it. The point is not to stop being yourself, but to pay respect to the other person.

The following are some things you should pay heed to in your first conversation with your match:

So what should you say on the first date

Since you are meeting your date based on a match made by Julia, you will already have some background information about him or her. The following are some great first-date things to say to your match:

“You’re funny”

This is a great thing to say to guys, especially if he has just said something that has made you laugh to the point of tears.

“Oh! I love that….too!”

You can fill in the blank with a common hobby, interest, music choice, food, etc. This will bring out some common points between the two of you.

Ask about their career

If your match is in a unique field, ask them questions about it, but not like a reporter and more like a friend. Ask the person what made them choose this field and what’s so awesome about it!

Tell them you enjoyed yourself

The end of the first date is always awkward because you don’t know what to say or do that is appropriate. Start by complimenting them and saying how much you enjoyed spending time with them today. Be prepared to see a smile of relief on the other person’s face may be followed by a hug.

Talk about your goals/dreams and ask them about theirs

This will encourage the other person to open up and share a little about themselves and encourage the bonding process.

On the other hand, what not to say!

Mention the Ex
Everyone has skeletons in their closets that resemble ex’s! While it is true that you probably went through a lot of toil and turmoil with your ex, you need not regurgitate or mention this on your first date. If you’re hoping for sympathy, then you can forget it because the only message it conveys to the other person is “she’s (or he’s) not over him”. The only outcome you can expect is waiting for a phone call for a second date that will never come!

Family Ties
Do not mention how much your family would love to meet your date. It is too presumptuous and creepy. It signals to the other person that you are afraid of being alone and are eager to pair up with just about anyone.

Ask them for coffee at your place after dinner
This is a big first date misstep. You will come across as desperate and someone who is eager to jump into bed. Coffee at your home after dinner signals an invitation for sex. Not a good indication for someone who is looking for a serious relationship.

Family Problems
Each of us has family troubles, be it with parents, siblings or extended family members. You may be eager to share or seek advice about family troubles, but you must refrain from doing on the first date. Your match has no emotional or mental connection with you yet to have any sort of interest in your family issues, so when you are heading out for the first date, leave your issues in your home.

Marriage
Most people who use a matchmaking service will mention to their matchmaker what sort of relationship they are seeking. Since many are seeking a serious one, it is not necessary to talk about marriage on the first date. First dates are not for discussing marital commitments. They are mainly used to gauge whether there is some sort of spark and compatibility between you two. If there is, then you can expect a second date. If you bring up the “m” word on the first date, you will most likely scare off your first date.

The question of virginity
By posing such a question, you are portraying yourself as a judgemental person who uses virginity as a standard for finding a match. Don’t expect your date to stick around much longer after this question is asked. Do expect a glass of water or juice tossed in your face!

Mentioning the “l” word
You may wear your heart on your sleeve, but it isn’t necessary to show this on the first date. Do not be in a hurry to express your feelings of love on the first date. While it may be the case that you are head over heels with your match, but expressing your feelings on the first date will definitely scare the other person off.

First dates are awkward enough with you saying something strange or politically incorrect. By keeping in mind what not to say, you will likely have your best dating foot forward!

Good luck!